If it were a man, his name would be Igor 
If it were a woman, she would be sophisticated
 If it were flashy, it wouldn’t be
 If it were observant, it would notice the details
 If it were the detail, it would be hidden.
 If it were a colour, it wouldn’t exist
 If it were light, it would be darkness
 If it were now, it would be the past
 If it were the hour, it would be the middle of the night
 If it were the middle of the night, it would be the quietest.
 If it were an adjective, it would be vague
 If it were rational, it wouldn’t be possible
 If it were chaotic, it would be unstoppable
 If it were a volume, it would be restless
 If it were a shape, it would be something to be understood.
 If it were a fabric, it would be edgy
 If it were tangible, it would be lumpy
 If it were lumpy, I’d call it after my old friend Jannis K.
 If it were a source of inspiration, even
 If it were the case, it would be inspiring.
 If it were a tummy, it would be rumbling
 If it were predictable, it would be better
 If it were better, it wouldn’t be this
 If it weren’t this, I wouldn’t be me.